How can I forget the mercy seat of God? It was there, at the feet of Jesus, he saved a woman like me. The person the world rejected and casted away with no hope of a future , He saw a hope and future.
It was there He lifted my face and picked me up. A woman battered and bruised from life with no more strength to fight or stand. A woman with a broken body and mind.
It was there He picked me up. A woman with the weight of all her sins on her shoulders, only to confine her to the world.
It was there He wiped away the tears. A woman pouring out all her failures with each tear as they stained his cloak.
It was there He hugged me. At that moment all my pain, hurt, guilt, shame, sickness, and failures were transferred from me to Him. Here, He took EVERYTHING that once burdened me.
It was at the mercy seat where Jesus redeemed, restored, healed, delivered and loved me......JenJenMarie
The devil is sneaky. He squirms in like a snake and causes you to drift away from the Lord. It’s a subtle move that causes havoc in your life. It could be a thought at a vulnerable time or an enticement when you decide to follow Jesus. Whatever the tactic, it takes you off course.
After he gets you separated from God, he starts messing with your mind. He begins to attack your thinking into making you feel worthless and that what you have done is unforgivable. One of his tactics is condemnation but the truth is, God is love and condemnation never comes from Him.
When you drift away, Jesus doesn't forget about you. He is constantly searching the deep horizons for you, waiting for that one glimpse. That’s all he needs is just a glimpse. At hat very moment, heaven and earth collide as His face lights up! His shout is like thunder, “My son! My daughter!” Excitement fills the air. The ground begins to shake as He starts jumping and running towards you. The mile distant is but a few inches to Him and He runs to you with arms wide open. Rivers of of joy running down His face while yelling, “You’re back!”
That was all He needed. Just a glimpse, just an ounce of hope, an ounce of “I wonder". I wonder if God will forgive me? I wonder if God still loves me? I wonder if God knows me? That’s all He needs to draw you close to Him.
Like the prodigal son who wasted his inheritance, it’s sort of like what we do when we back slide and waste our gifts. The son wasted away everything that was freely given to him by living a promiscuous lifestyle. Throughout that time he forgotten his position and lost his identity. Who knows how long it lasted, all we know is "until that one day." -the moment he remembered who his father is and returned home.
As he was heading back home,his father saw him from a distance and RAN TO HIM. He didn’t think twice about where his son had been, who he had been with or what he did. All he saw was the son that was gone and who was now returning. His love for him never changed. The bible says, Luke 15:20 “So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him.” Did you get that? There was no condemnation or judgment from his father, only love. This is a reflection of the love Jesus has for you and me.
It goes on to say in Luke 15:21 “his son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and before you, I am no longer worthy to be called your son” The son repented and his father restored him to his rightful position. Luke 15:22” But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet.” Do you see that? His son did not have to start over from the beginning. He picked up right where he left off. The same goes for us when we fail. We don’t have to start all over from the beginning or the same trials that we have overcome, we pick up where we left off.
Luke 15:24 “for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life, He was lost, but now he is found.” Can’t you hear the excitement and joy in the father’s voice? That is the same excitement Jesus has when you come back. The way the father felt for his son is how Jesus feels for you.
Heaven rejoices when one sinner repents and returns to God. Luke 15:32 “We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.” Don’t waste another day waiting or believing the lies. Don’t waste another day thinking you’re not ready. Don’t waste another day in that pit. He doesn't see any stain. He doesn't see any damaged goods. His love is pure and holy. Jesus is waiting! He wants you home! He loves you........JustFood4Thought
Where are your enemies? What or who is making you weary? Have you forgotten who fights for you? Why do we let our feeble minds drift off and get overpowered with fear and doubt?
Joshua 10:9 And the Lord said to Joshua, “Do not fear them, for I have given them into your hands. Not a man of them shall stand before you. 9. So Joshua came upon them suddenly..”
……..24 When they brought these kings out to Joshua, Joshua called for all the men of Israel, and said to the chiefs of the men of war who had gone with him, "Come near, put your feet on the necks of these kings." So they came near and put their feet on their necks. 25Joshua then said to them, "Do not fear or be dismayed! Be strong and courageous, for thus the LORD will do to all your enemies with whom you fight." 26So afterward Joshua struck them and put them to death, and he hanged them on five trees; and they hung on the trees until evening.…
I truly enjoy the book of Joshua. It goes against the grain of this world. It goes against every political correctness. It’s crazy! It’s about war, a phenomenal event and victory after victory. It is a great motivational,and empowerment book that gets your spirit stirring. After reading Joshua, you can’t help but straighten your backbone, look that problem straight in the face and tell it, “You’re defeated! You’re under my feet. My God has given you into my hands.”
What I truly love is the underlying message throughout the book. God does the fighting for us and we can rest in Him. Towards the end of Joshua’s life, he reminds them of who fought for them and the same God that defeated their enemies will continue fighting for them. To me, the most powerful sentence for battle is the assurance , “ it is the Lord your God who fights for you.”
Joshua 23: 8 but you shall cling to the Lord your God just as you have done to this day. 9 For the Lord has driven out before you great and strong nations. And as for you, no man has been able to stand before you to this day.10 One man of you puts to flight a thousand, since it is the Lord your God who fights for you, just as he promised you.
I can’t help but get encouraged time and time again. It’s like a renewing of the spirit when I read Joshua. God gave us a glimpse of His power in Exodus to set the stage for future generations. When Moses got tired, Aaron and Hur stepped in to hold up his hands. It is symbolic. As they held up his hands in a form of worship, Exodus 17:13 “Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.” The same is true today. We don’t need to fight. We just need to raise our hands and worship. Worship Him even when the situation doesn’t make sense. Worship Him even when you don’t understand. Worship Him even when you don’t feel like it.
So, where are your enemies? I will tell you, “Under your feet.” Just like Joshua commanded the chiefs to put their feet on the necks of those kings, You too are to put the enemy under you….JenJenMarie
Trusting the Lord with everything has been a challenge. The most difficult have been with my finances and relationships. You would think by now, I would easily give it him but on the contrary, I still hold on. Last night the Lord gave me a dream. I am in my restroom and there is a big hole exposing the inner part of the house. You can see the pipes exposed, it is cold and damp and looks corroded. As I look into the exposure, I see a cat walking on the pipe. Now, this was no cute cat. It looked battered, beat , shabby like a tom cat. I tried shooing it away but as it was leaving, it stopped and looked at me. Then it turned around and came towards me. As it walked out the hole, the cat turned into a short, ugly man. Immediately, I knew it was satan himself. I began rebuking him in the name of Jesus and he stepped back. Suddenly, he began laughing and I became more bold. I straighten my back and leaned into him, commanding him to leave with the authority and power given to me by Jesus Christ. He turned to leave and when I looked outside, he transformed back into the cat. There he was on the prowl looking for the next person.
In the past, I was afraid to face satan directly. This time was different, I knew who and what he was, I also knew the authority I had in Jesus. This boldness overcame me like never before. I got up in his face and didn't back down until he left.
I asked the Lord what the dream meant. What he shown me were old pipes. It was significant because these pipes were hidden and could not be seen unless exposed. They were old. Just like the pipes, so was the tactic that the enemy had been using against me for years. The Lord was showing me an empty area in my life that He needs to fixed.
I already knew what it was. That big gap was my trust in him. For years, I put God aside in this one area. That area, well it is men, a relationship. My greatest desire is to be married but it also my greatest weakness. So many times I would be walking the path with God and every time a smooth, talking guy came along, I would get turned away. Funny thing is, I told Him this morning to remove every guy in my life that isn't for me.
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am tired of going around this mountain. For some it is easy. For me, it is a challenge but like I told God, I am up to it. After all, He said He will never leave me nor forsake me.
So, back to church. On my way tonight, I am talking with God. We were having a deep, deep conversation. I told him I would trust Him for my husband and wait. I also reminded Him of the promise He gave me years ago. He said, "If I return to Him, He would give me the desires of heart- a husband" (You would think by now, I would of done this way back when.)
Well, what do you know. Pastor Simeon preached about trust! He said, "Trust God even when we can't see anything. Just like he gave the Israelite's manna from heaven, they didn't make the connection with the original promise. It tasted like where he was taken them! They missed the moment!"
Exodus 16:31 The people of Israel called the bread manna.[d] It was white like coriander seed and tasted like wafers made with honey.
I missed the moment plenty of times but I don't want to miss it anymore. I want the promise God gave me years ago. His word doesn't return void and that there, I am holding on to for dear life. I am trusting God and I am trusting IN HIM. .... JustFood4Thought
This is a sneak peak of what is coming....
Genesis 34The Message (MSG) 34 1-4 One day Dinah, the daughter Leah had given Jacob, went to visit some of the women in that country. Shechem, the son of Hamor the Hivite who was chieftain there, saw her and raped her.
When I begin reading about Dinah, I’m taking back to that era of time. The hustle and bustle of the city. Merchants stopping you in the streets to buy their goods. The business of everyday life going on. The smell of animals on the dirt roads. The roads paved with pebble stones and dirt. The twirling of dirt in the air creating small wind tornadoes. The strong aroma of kosher food lingering in the air. Dull stone walls adorned with colorful sashes for sale.
My mind goes into full descriptive mode, imaging the times of old until I read the part where she was raped. Immediately, I am stopped dead in my tracks.... JenJenMarie
The bible is truth. It is the Word of God, spoken into existence by God. It is a blue print of how we are to live and manage in this world we are living in. Every and I mean EVERY problem and/or situation we encounter lies in this one book. Life is full of surprises for us but not to God. He created every little detail on our body and knows our deepest, hidden desires. He created us for a purpose and with everyday life, we need to fall back on His word.
If we would just take the time to read, absorb and follow, there would be less heart aches, sorrow, pain and hurt. But why is it so hard to just sit, read and WAIT? We rather go to a friend or random person and get their insight or opinion than turn to the Word. When in reality, God created all our days before we were even born. If He created them, then obviously He knew this day would happen. Yet, how would you or I even know that if we didn't read His word?
The bible is fascinating. There are stories of wars, death, widowhood, single life, adultery, woman who struggled with infertility, diseases, destruction, love, reconciliation, miracles, redemption, forgiveness, mercy and grace. Every emotion, every experience has a solution in this one book. It is just a matter of gleaning..... JustFood4Thought
The other night I had a drink. Yes, that is correct but don't pass judgement yet. Being a christian isn't easy. We ALL face trials but these past months have been very trying both mentally, spiritually and physically. Now, I'm not saying that drinking is a solution or the right choice but for me, that was my choice. Instead of running to God, I ran away.
People tend to think that if you're a Christian, you just don't do certain things. Well, I got news for you. We are not God but human. I still endure the same temptations as you and face trials just the same. The only difference between me and non-believers is the conviction. I really can't enjoy doing something that non-believers do and that night I felt the conviction as I sat there.
That night I finally released what I've been holding in. I got mad. I got mad at God. I even questioned Him as to why he never opened my womb. That deep pain and desire finally rose up and I threw it in His face. I raised my hand and cried out, “Was I such a bad person that YOU couldn't even let me have a child?” I was having my own pity party but instead of getting mad at my current situation I got upset about something that was old. Really Jennifer? All that crying and foolishness but not once did I bring up the trials I'm going through now. I guess you can say it's because deep down, I know God already has it worked out.
I tried to shut up my spirit but God still kept tugging at me. He kept whispering to my spirit. I couldn't get away from Him. (See, that's the difference between me and a non-believer. I know His presence.) Even with how hurt I was, I could still feel His love. It's hard to describe because words can't capture the feeling. I'm sitting there crying but I felt peace at the same time. I knew He was still there and I knew deep down, I couldn't get too upset because this was Poppa I was angry at. He kept singing this one song over and over as a reminder that He already has it.
Even after last night, and my wrong choice, God is still good. He woke me up to the same song from last night, Even If by Mercy Me. He kept playing it over and over that I woke up singing it. It's His way of reminding me of His faithfulness. I've been down in the pits many of times but He has been faithful to pick me up every time. Whether it was by my choice or not, He never left me AND He never will.
I'm reminded of the book of Job. He didn't do anything wrong but satan asked for him and (get this) GOD ALLOWED IT. God could have easily said no but He knew Job and he knew his faithfulness and He knew his heart. Everything was stripped from him but he never gave up on God. Sure he questioned the situation, himself and probably God but he never turned from Him. He remained faithful.
It encourages me because I know if God did it for Job, He will do it for me also. Right now I feel like I'm walking in the valley of shadow and death and what if, Satan has petitioned for me too? My hope is in the Lord and although I made a wrong choice to relieve my nerves, God is faithful and true to never leave me. God restored Job but greater than before. I too know that God will restore me. It's hard to see the light on my current situation but
Let the words from the song penetrate your spirit:
I know you're able and I know you can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You'd just say the word
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
You've been faithful, You've been good
All of my days
Jesus, I will cling to You
Come what may
‘Cause I know You're able
I know You can
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all;
he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.
I've taken some time away from social media to spend more time with the Lord. There is a drawing to Him that I cannot resist. I am longing more of Him. It's as if I want to be consumed by poppa God.
As I was studying, I came across Psalm 85: 10 KJV "Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other." It made me ask, "What is truth in biblical terms or in general? Is truth the word of God? Is truth the bible? Is truth fact with solid evidence? What is truth?
Meriam Webster defines truth as:
Mercy (compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm.) and truth (Jesus) are met together (at the cross); righteousness (acting in accord with divine or moral law : free from guilt or sin) and peace (Jesus Isaiah 9:6 Prince of Peace) have kissed each other.
I am absolutely amazed because I've been asking God to show me Jesus in the Old Testament and this little nugget is like a gem. Not only did he show me truth but also gave me a little bit more.
Poppa God never ceases to amaze me......JustFood4Thought
How many times do we do sometimes think that God will not forgive us or that we deserve the punishment that is happening to us. Look at the book of Nehemiah with me and let’s remember His goodness, grace and love.
In Nehemiah 9 The Israelites were fasting and remembering all that the Lord had done.
The priest prayed and reminded them of their ancestors disobedience and made known all that God had done for them so that they would not forget.
16 “But they and our fathers acted presumptuously and stiffened their neck and did not obey your Commandments they refused to obey and were not mindful of the Wonders that you performed among them but they stiffened their neck. They made golden calves input other gods before God…. v.12 the pillar of Fire lead them by night. V.20 You gave your good spirit to instruct them and did not withhold the manna and gave them water. Nehemiah 9:21... 40 years you sustain them in the wilderness and they lacked nothing their clothes did not wear out and their feet did not swell. v.22 They possessed the land you told you would give them but still, time after time, they rebelled against you. After each cry, You sent your word, showed mercy and even sent your prophets to warn and correct them. v31. Nevertheless in your great mercies you did not make an end of them nor forsake them, for you are a gracious and merciful god.
Do you see the goodness, mercy and love of God? Chapter 9 shows the magnitude of His love. There is nothing that we can ever do that will change his perspective or love for us.
What happened then still applies today. Don't let the enemy mess with your mind and make you think that you are not good enough or that God won't forgive you, because that's a lie and I rebuke that thought in Jesus name.From the beginning of time, God knew that his creation would turn from him. Yet, He already was prepared. He was saving the best for last-Redemption.
Now, that is love! To know that your creation, the very beings that you created to worship you, would turn and rebel against you but you still love them enough to create them. You willingly sacrifice your only son to save creation. Think about the magnitude of this act. God's son, Jesus, willingly stepped down from heaven, stepped down from glory to the put on human skin (death) and willingly died for you, so that we can step into glory. Who does that? Who would unselfishly sacrifice their own child to save a person who hurt them? Me personally, I don't think I could that.
Whenever you think you're not good enough or that God won't forgive you, think about how Jesus stepped down from Glory for your redemption…..JustFood4Thought
Yesterday after work, I sat and talked with poppa God. I was longing for Him. I missed Him. I asked Him, "Show me your love." I needed to go back to where "I" left Him and His love before allowing man to replace His love.
This morning I was listening to the sermon “A Lily Among the Thorns” by Jentezen Franklin. “He was talking about the love story God wrote to us starting with, Song of Solomon 2:1-2 I am a rose[a] of Sharon, a lily of the valleys. As a lily among brambles, so is my love among the young women.
He went on to say, “You make feel like a nothing, a nobody, Life may have made you felt like a castaway, rag doll, worthless, you may feel like a relic of the past….BUT let me tell you who “I” see YOU as. I see you as a lily among the thorns. When I look at all the rest of the girls I can choose, I see YOU as a lily among the thorns.”
Despite our past, how we feel or what we think, He LOVES us. We stand out among the thorns.
He went into detail describing the white lily in reference to Christ. The fragrance is strong. It has seven grains inside the petals reflecting seven spirits of GOD - the spirit of the Lord, the spirit of knowledge, the spirit of wisdom, the spirit of power, the spirit of counsel,the spirit of understanding , the spirit of favor. Its white covering represents God coming down as human form, covering our sins and making us white as snow. It doesn't stand straight up but bows down. When we think "God I can't reach you", He comes down to us. This is how much GOD loves you, me, us.
Then at work GOD continued to remind me how He loves me. We had our daily devotional and the topic was God Loves You Unconditionally. (Now I am smiling because I feel like He is starting to flatter me.) The scriptures for today were from Psalms and if you ever read the book, you will notice how much David loved the Lord. It’s like a love story to GOD.
Sometimes, we have to look back to where we lost something. We have to retrace our steps in order to find it. I’ve been so busy with my ministry that I haven’t made time for GOD on a personal, intimate level and I was starting to feel the effect. I had to go back to where I felt that “I” left His love. He is so gracious and patient with us and He loves us unconditionally. That is one thing that never changes………….JustFood4Thought
One thing I love, is exploring Texas. So, I packed my bag, put on my rain cap and headed out. My plan was to visit the Gorman Falls at Colorado Bend State Park tpwd.texas.gov/state-parks/colorado-bend and maybe stay the night at a local Airbnb . However, I only arrived to be notified it was closed for a marathon. (Note to self, look at the dates!)
But I did have a glimpse of what I will be seeing on my return. When you first arrive, you have to cross a small creek but from the looks of it, if it rains hard you are stuck on the other side. So, it is good to probably travel in a higher vehicle. As I went up the winding road there were livestock grazing in the grass (A word of caution, they will come up to your vehicle.) and the road was narrow. So, keep your eyes on the road and watch oncoming vehicles. There is a historical marker on the road leading to the park describing something being named after the first white male born in that city. That wasn't too interesting but what was, were the ostriches across the street. Actually, they were kind of creepy because they kept following me.
Anyhow, I am back to where I started - on the road again. I was in a dilemma. Do I drive to Austin, stay at the nearest hotel or go home? I really wanted to find a spot to read my bible and spend some one on one time with God but I couldn’t find a non-muddy spot. So, I decided to take an alternate route and head home. God knows my heart and He took me home through the back country roads, where the scenery was so refreshing and calm. I crossed creek after creek, field after field and open land for miles.
I went through Lampasas, Georgetown, Elgin, Giddings, Brenham and then home. My battery was dieing and my phone wasn’t charging but it was all for a master plan. This allowed no distractions and the one on one time with Poppa God that I so desperately desired. The road trip was worth the time spent alone with poppa God. Looks like I have another mini trip coming up.
Last night we had our first Shabbat dinner and I have to say, "It was beautiful!" Everything we did, all pointed to Yeshua.
I learned a lot last night and now I see why so many Jews are blessed. All the blessings spoken over each other, each Sabbath, week after week, month after month, year after year, trickle down generation after generation.
"Husbands were blessing their wives. Wives were blessing their husbands. Mothers were blessing their daughters. Daughters blessing their mothers. Fathers blessing their sons. Sons blessing their fathers and the final Aaronic blessing was spoken over everyone.
Everything got blessed, even the wine and bread. It was all symbolic and once again, pointed to Yeshua. The wine is a symbol of joy and the bread is a symbol of provision. With the blessing of each item, we had to reflect on something that brought us joy and something that God provided the past week.
It made me reflect on my heart and intentions leading up to Shabbat. Was having the Sabbat dinner a sincere meal or was it about me? Was it about having the perfect meal or glorifying Yeshua? I had everything prepared the day before and on the day of, my food didn't turn out how I had planned. We had to make an alternative choice, got delayed with the food and traffic, and arrived late to my dinner. What if I would of let the mishaps still my joy? Then I would have never experienced the sincere act of gratitude towards Yeshua.
Shabbat isn't about the perfect meal or everything being perfect. It is about reflecting on Yeshua and being thankful and grateful for all He does. It is putting Him first and enjoying family and friends. Shabbat is a delight, not a burden. Shalom......JustFood4Thought
Proverbs 18:21 "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." was being carried out.
You know, being single has its ups and downs. I mean, it's great when you don't have to ask permission to go with the girls, put the toilet seat down or clean up after anyone. Wait, I'm lying. I want to do that. However, we have to stay focused or else get swayed by our emotions.
For example, just recently I met a guy. We talked for about two months but there were some red flags in the beginning. However, after being alone for so long, I overlooked them because I was enjoying the attention.
Yet, the Holy Spirit didn't let my spirit rest. I became more and more uncomfortable each time we got together. It got to the point where I could no longer bare it anymore. My spirit was truly vexed.
Funny thing is, I sensed it before but I chose to ignore it. However, poppa God wasn't having it. He didn't let me get comfortable at all. So, at the last meet up, it overwhelmed me so much, that my soul wanted to explode out of me. It felt as if my body could no longer contain it. All it took was one wrong word from him and I left. “Lord, please give me the gift of goodbye.” I didn't want to look back.
But this is how good poppa God is. He reminded me, He doesn't withhold good things from his daughters. This person isn't the one I been praying and thanking God for.
I had to laugh afterwards because of how poppa did it. Actually. I still laugh about it because I can just imagine Him saying, “Oh no ma'am. He is not the one. I'm stopping this quick.” He knows us perfectly. After all, He did create us.
Poppa God loves us. We are His daughters, His princesses. He wants the best for us. So, continue thanking poppa God for who he has removed and is bringing..... JustFood4Thought
Proverbs 24:11 “Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter.
I hear His whisper...
"I have given you a great treasure-- My presence. This rich glory within you will never fade or be taken from you. I will not withhold from you one thing, for sacred blood has made you Mine. This inner joy that I give to you is the sign of My presence. When the tension of life surrounds you, My glorious presence will subdue and overshadow you. I have made you Mine and My love will finish the beautiful work I have begun in you.
"There are two strengthening forces that I have embedded into your soul. The Word of God and My Holy Spirit. They will feed you this day and make you strong to overcome all the attempts of the enemy to distract and discourage you. My Living Word is life and the true source of power. My Spirit-Wind is the strength of your body, soul, and spirit. Rest in My gifts to you and know that every door the enemy has closed will open and every pathway I have made for you will be revealed.
"Nothing brings Me more satisfaction than to look at your life and know that I will walk with you and see you through. I take joy in knowing the secrets I have for your future and the breakthroughs I have in store for the upright. I hold victory in My hand and I hold you in My heart. Every dark cloud that dims your gaze, I will blow away. Every anxious thought that disturbs your peace, I will soothe and remove as you come to Me. The richest treasure I could ever share with you is now yours. The gift of My presence will go with you forever and bring you uncontainable joy. Take My hand and come to the higher place, run with Me into My cloud filled chamber where we will be One."
Psalm 84:11-12 TPT
"For the Lord God is brighter
Than the brilliance of a sunrise!
Wrapping Himself around me like a shield,
He is so generous with His gifts of grace and glory!
¹²Those who walk along His paths with integrity
Will never lack one thing they need,
For He provides it all!
O Lord of Heaven’s Armies,
What euphoria fills those
Who forever trust in You!"
I remember growing up wondering, "Why did this happen? Where was my family to protect me? Why me? ". Then the ones I trusted, added an extra blow by betraying me. It felt as if no one was there to protect me and I began to believe the lies of the enemy. My heart and attitude turned from God and towards myself. Self healing. Self gain. Self satisfaction. Self gratification.
I knew God but I didn't know him. Still, despite my lifestyle and refusal to turn to Him, He still showed himself in subtle ways. I look back now and realize that no matter how far I tried to go, He still had his hand over my life.
Death tried to take me numerous of times but God didn't allow it. The enemy tried to take my mind but God didn't allow it. The enemy tried to take my health but God said, "No". God said "NO" to all the tricks and devices of the enemy against me.
Little did I know that each hurt, each trial, each failure, each fall, each tear, every pain was being caught and mixed together to create the beauty of today. Everything that I have endured has made me stronger and it is only by the grace of God.
All the while I was looking for something, He was ALWAYS there loving me, UNCONDITIONALLY. He was the one to stop death. He was the one who picked me up, He was the one loving me when I was rejected, hurt and betrayed. He was the one to heal me when I made a decision. He was the one to renew my mind when I could of lost it. He was the one who give me life when I tried to end it.
People who know me, who know my past sometimes wonder why I talk about Jesus so much and if it is just for show. Well, no it isn't. When someone gives you something that you don't deserve, that is love. When someone does something for you and doesn't ask for anything, that is love. When someone sacrifices for you when you don't deserve it, that is love. When someone gives up His life for you when you are at your lowest and dirtiest , that is love. That is why I talk and share Jesus.
And to the critics. No I am not perfect. I still have struggles but I am striving to live like Jesus because through my life, you will see Jesus.
So, I say to you. "If you're going through something. Hold on. Cry to God. Just give Him a chance. You will have a life that you've never known."...............JustFood4Thought