We all are called for a purpose and some know instantly what they are called for. Yet for others, it takes a while. For me, my purpose wasn’t given to me instantly. There was work to be done before it was revealed.
God had to deal with my identity after I decided to follow Him. My background was stained and that is how I identified myself. As a matter of fact, my past was like the woman at the well and Rahab. Joshua 2:2 "So they went and entered the house of a prostitute named Rahab and stayed there." John 4,9,17-18 “9 The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman…17. Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband.18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband.
The woman at the well didn’t have a name. She was identified by her current situation. The other, Rahab was called by her name and identified by her character. Both had low self-esteem and a low self-worth. They both tried to find love in man rather than God. The body God created for them was abused, trampled on and treated like a rag doll. They had no respect for themselves or others. They lived to satisfy their own gratifications, searching anything and anyone to fill that void. That was my past. I had a name but I was known by my character.
But it was during that season of searching, God began cleaning me up and renewing my mind. He kept showing me my worth even when I couldn’t see it. He kept loving me even when I couldn’t love myself. He gently kept picking me up every time I fell. He kept chasing me, even after I ran away from Him. He kept showing me over and over how He saw me, even when the people around me kept seeing a harlot, alcoholic, drug user, adulterer, and a woman with three failed marriages. He just kept loving on me. He walked beside me through the identity process and held me tighter each time a layer of the past fell off. Through the painful shedding of tears, He loved me more and more.
My challenge was moving past how people saw me, how I saw myself, and to accepting what God sees me as. He was getting me to the point where I no longer associated myself with the shame and guilt of my past but rather on my new identity. The bible says he gives us a new identity and one day, I began to see myself as the daughter of a King, A Princess. 1 Peter 2:9 9 "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. “
Throughout the process I was prophesied over but I couldn’t see the calling because I kept looking back. Once my eyes looked ahead and stayed focused on Jesus, pieces starting falling into place. I had to change my mindset. How can a slave free another slave from bondage?
My mind was renewed in Christ. The past that once held me in bondage is now a platform for God. My past is now what God uses as a testimony for others. Too many woman are deceived in thinking that they are not good enough because of a choice they made. But I'm here to tell you,"You are good enough!"
I may not go into the far corners of the earth but God has set a platform before me that does. My words can be carried into the deep, dark neighborhoods of the cities. My testimony can be shared throughout the world. Prayer can be sent anywhere. There is no limitation as to what God can do with my words and hands or you….JustFood4Thought